Providing effective feedback in relationships can be challenging especially for those of us who spent anytime in the environments that were not conducive to positive feedback. Ourselves and others can come off as aggressive and a little too blunt which is not healthy for relationships.
The past few years I have put additional emphasis and providing better feedback to the people who mean the most to me.
Below is the basic outline I use for providing basic feedback with those I instruct and coach in diving as well as other situations where effective feedback is needed. I will focus on the feedback in a diving situation.
Purpose
What is it you want to coach or discuss. Give them some idea of why you are providing the feedback. “Hey let’s talk about our dive this morning”.
Observation
What I specifically notice.
“We got separated during the dive, I looked around for a minute and surfaced. I didn’t see you and got worried.”
Impact
What specifically what the impact is of doing something incorrect.
“Since you didn’t surface I had to sit here and wait and eventually go back to shore, ruining my dive and causing alarm for the dive crew. I spent allot of money and time to do this trip and now I didn’t get an opportunity to enjoy one of my dives.”
(PAUSE)
Here you have to let them talk, vent, come up with ideas, etc. Let them speak. You just might find out what the barriers are for them.
Suggestions
At this point I will try to get suggestions from them to resolve the issue.
“What can we do on the next dive so we first don’t get separated or if we do, we follow the procedures and meet up again.”
Support
This is where you gain street-cred, well in this case scuba-cred. If they get it right on the next dive, then acknowledge with what they did well. In some cases support might include providing a tool or a plan
“So on the next dive I will provide a buddy line for us since the visibility is so bad. OR “Thanks for letting me lead this dive and keeping visual contact so we could enjoy the dive.”
Follow-up
In the simplest form it is getting done what needs to be done to be successful and making sure they repeat the process.
“Hey our dives have been so much better and I appreciate you showing me some new things I had never seen before.”
Hopefully this gives you a glimpse into our world of helping a fellow diver master the skills or a buddy be a better dive partner.
By the way, as with many things I coach, this makes a great communication tool for better relationships!
Aquatic Awakening 